I feel like crud today.
Mostly because it's getting to be that time of the month (I'm not one of those people who is shy about talking about that sort of thing. It's a fact of life. Everyone knows that every healthy woman in her biological prime who isn't already pregnant has a period. It's not some shameful secret) and there's no way to describe how painful my cramps get.
Last night I was in tears on the couch unable to move or speak for several minutes because the pain was so intense. Well, after the worst of it had passed, my husband told me that today I needed to make a spot on the couch or wherever I wanted to be and not move unless I wanted to. That he would try to take care of me as best he could, because he hates feeling helpless to do anything when my cramps are that bad.
Well, I did what he said.
I made a comfy spot on the couch with my laptop, my laptop table, fruit punch juice within arms reach, and surrounded by the books I borrowed from the library. I'm prepared to spend the rest of the day relaxing, maybe writing? , and playing BloodRayne 2 / Tomb Raider: Anniversary / Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines.
I feel bad for not working harder, but when PMS is in full swing for me there's little to no hope that I'll actually do anything. I just can't focus when I'm like this, so the best thing for me to do is use this time to recharge my engines for when this is all over and I'm ready to go back to it.
It's best not to worry about it now. What am I gonna do, ruin my day by forcing myself to write when I don't feel like it? There's still a chance that I would want to stop and write a little. In that case, I'll do it. I need to get more into that mindset anyway. I'm one of those people that's either a workaholic or a total laze about--and there's no reason why I can't be in the middle.
I used to be in the middle. I used to play a game for a couple of hours, write for a couple of hours, go back to playing . . . shit, I used to leave games paused if I was playing them on a console so I could write for a few minutes, then play some more, then write some more, then play some more. It doesn't sound like it would be a very productive system but I actually got more done than I do now when I sit down and try to devote my whole attention to something. I wonder why that is. If you know/have theories, leave them in the comments!