Friday, December 28, 2018

Somewhere, in a Transylvanian Castle, a Writer Wrote

Project: Amaranthine
Deadline: None
New words written: 6,171
Present total word count: 41,236

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Things accomplished in fiction: One of my biggest problems tonight was that I struggled with worrying that I'd begun to sacrifice the horror core for romance. This is a paranormal romance, after all, but I want it to be scary. To be something that leaves you a little unnerved, maybe sad, but ultimately satisfied because you got what you came for. Plus, I mean, I like cute. I do.

But as I wrote on I realized this wasn't the case. It also helped that I've been listening to

Original video here 

on repeat for several hours in a row. It created absolutely the perfect atmosphere, and it helped me over this little blip in the road. Also, I don't know, I feel like I should just write it however it comes out and let it be whatever it'll be. Is it scary? Is it sweet? Is it [insert whatever here] ? I don't know. All of that kind of depends on the reader, doesn't it?

Either way I'm really happy with it. We got a lot accomplished tonight and I'm incredibly proud! 

Things accomplished in real life: I'm getting really excited about my work again. 2018 has been the worst year for me writing-wise. I'd been on anti-depressants for the first half of the year, and the second half was me trying to come back to myself after it erased me a little.

Now, that's not to say antidepressants are bad and you shouldn't take them if you need them. On the contrary, I absolutely support it. If you feel as overwhelmed and anxious as I did when I first started taking them then you should definitely go talk to your doctor about it.

To give some context: I was working a different job at the time. Lower paying, higher demand, you know the drill. The kind where they work you to death but won't pay you more than $8. I was nearing my twenty-sixth birthday, meaning that I would be taken off my mom's insurance and have to find my own. Which, for someone literally living paycheck-to-paycheck at the time because my husband and I were living in a $730/mo apartment on what at the time was his $9/hr paycheck and my $8/hr paycheck, that was terrifying. We couldn't afford any extra expenses. None. Half the time we couldn't even afford groceries so my mom had to help us.

Well, at this job there was a woman. I won't name her because, I mean, its not worth it. She was what the company called a "client," which basically means she couldn't be fired no matter what.

And boy, did she flaunt it.

Sundays were the worst days. We had to get an obscene amount of product out in literally half the time, and while the rest of us were busting our asses and getting screamed at to go faster by our management (and no, I'm not exaggerating. We had a team lead that would LIT-ER-AL-LY scream at us), this woman was taking her sweet time. What did she care, right? It wasn't like they could fire her (and I shit you not, she was literally saying those exact words right in front of our faces). But the rest of us weren't so lucky. We'd get in trouble. BIG trouble. So despite her, we tried to do better.

I was working with one of my friends that day. I had a lot of friends there, actually, but this girl was nothing but nice to me. Actually, I had trained her when she first started and I remember her telling me I was the first one that was nice to her and would actually talk to her. Well, I was wearing a tattoo choker that day and I guess it must've gotten twisted. She saw it and came over to fix it. Nothing out of the ordinary. If she had something messed up on her I'd either tell her or I'd go fix it myself. But that day, I was so charged and angry and just--- I don't know. Even now, I don't know what alchemical bullshit in my head led me to this reaction, but it did.

This girl fixed my choker and I didn't realize that's what she was doing, because I had my headphones in and didn't hear her tell me about it. When she did, there was something about how the choker hit my neck when she got it untwisted or how it felt when she touched me but-- I just snapped.

Literally. It felt like something inside my skull just broke. It was an intense, physical sensation that left me dizzy and just totally fucked up. I ran to the bathroom and broke down crying. Another friend of mine came to see me, and we talked, but in the end I had to survive the rest of the day progressing the same way it had been. Luckily, at the time I had Mondays and Tuesdays off so I could try to relax afterward.

Unfortunately, whatever had happened inside of me that Sunday lingered. For at least a whole week after, maybe longer, I couldn't eat. Whatever I put in my stomach hit like a brick and made me nauseous. After I ate a bowl of cereal--cereal-- my husband told me it was time to go to the doctor. So he sat with me while I made an appointment. When I went, the doctor asked what was wrong and after we established that I wasn't pregnant, I told her about what happened and just absolutely broke down into tears. The only time I ever cried in front of a doctor is when I got shots and that's because needles creep me out. That's when she suggested I try anti-depressants. Well, technically they were anti-anxiety, but she said it would also help with depression. Which it did.

As much as they messed me up in 2018 creatively, I'm so glad I took them for the time that I did. After a year of being on them not only did I not stress out about that job nearly as much, but I had the confidence to go out and interview for my current job, which pays more and offers benefits and has a union and everything! I just think the problem was that I had taken them for a little too long and that my dosage either had to be adjusted or I needed to stop. I stopped, and though I still get generalized anxiety, like, all the time, I'm able to think through it better. According to Danny, I do so much better handling it than I ever did before.

But anyway, I kind of went on a tangent!

My point is, I feel like 2019 is going to be a great year for me writing-wise. While we recover from our move financially (and, frankly, emotionally, because it was a huge change and the whole process was total bullshit) I'm going to be writing my heart out to finish several novels (and this includes editing. I want to get a bunch publishing-ready before we do this) , and once we're ready he and I are going to sit down and devise a publishing plan. Ever since before we got married or moved in together, Danny has done his best to research this kind of stuff and become a sort-of literary agent for me.

Also, I've been sliding more easily back into the mindset I had when I was a kid and publishing wasn't even on my mind. Which is, basically, just having fun with my work. Will it all be grammatically correct? No. Most likely not. I'll try to get close! But in the end it's going to be engaging. It's going to be passionate. You'll know I attacked every word and every page with my whole heart.

And, to me, that's what matters most.

Image result for stephen king quotes grammar

Thursday, December 27, 2018

Writing Update for Amaranthine!

Project: Amaranthine
Deadline: None
New words written: 6,652
Present total word count: 35,002

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Things accomplished in fiction: Finally got through a chapter that was giving me literally the biggest problem, and once I did it was like the floodgates were opened. The MC moved into a new home, had her friends over, and a big disagreement broke out between the vampire and his sire.

Things accomplished in real life: I started out the day determined to relax. It was a beautiful rainy day today, so gloomy and cold it was impossible not to be happy. I made myself a mug of white almond vanilla tea and after I drank it I went and took a nice, hot bubble bath using some of the aromatherapy stuff I got for Christmas 💙 I've been so stressed over the last few months. This was VERY much needed!

Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Blue Hair is my Dream Hair

I love blue hair.

Years ago I wanted a blue/purple ombre for my wedding and my friend Angela gave it to me. By the time the wedding day arrived, it was more blue than anything else but I was absolutely fine with that because I loved it. I kept it long after my wedding ended. The only reason I got rid of it was that I wanted to try half-black half-white hair, which ended up being more half-black half-yellow.

I tried pink hair and though I loved it, it faded too quick. Though to be fair I guess that's what I get from going from black to super super blond in a single day (I spent a whole 7 hours at the hair salon bleaching and bleaching and bleaching. I swear, I'm surprised I have any hair at all lol!)

After that, I went back to black and stayed there because it was easy maintenance. Black is basically just slather it on and enjoy for six months or so because it's hella in your hair. I think I read somewhere that black changes your hair color so it actually makes the dyed parts of your hair like actually black. After all I went through to get rid of it at the salon, I absolutely believe that.

As the black began to fade, I thought I would try red. I bought a bottle of Cherry Crush Red from, like L'Oreal and put it on. Though my hair wasn't faded enough for it to show up like it does on Cherry Dollface, I liked the way it turned out.

For, like, a few weeks.

I quickly began to realize I didn't like how it looked, but I was stuck because I wanted to let the dye fade out as much as possible. So I left my hair alone for months, I purposefully went outside without a hat so I could let the sun fade the color, and took boiling hot showers to try and get the dye out that way. It worked . . . slowly.


After we moved, we decided to try and do my hair at home. I was sick of the black/red mess and Danny agreed to help me. He did his research on hair bleaching, and after two weeks this is what we ended up with. I was blond as fuuuuuck and we accidentally kind of fried my tips because we put them under a plastic cap when they were bleaching and didn't adjust the time. Luckily it got me blonder than I've ever been in my life so that's good!

A week later came the dye!

It took two jars of Manic Panic Atomic Turquoise to do my hair, but I love it. We had intended to get Baby Boy Blue but when we realized that they didn't have that color at Sally's, We decided Atomic Turquoise was pretty much the same color we wanted so we went with that instead! It was so fun watching it rinse out and drying it and seeing how fantastically blue it was. For someone with no training at all in hair stuff, Danny did a fantastic job!


This is the final product and I'm absolutely in love with it! The blue hair gives me so much more confidence and I feel so pretty when I look in the mirror, even when I have bedhead. 

My blue hair is just the beginning of my journey of self-improvement because it was the easiest and most available to do right away. Alongside trying to get more fit and tightening up my muscles, and working hard on my writing career, I want to get tattoo'd and get a belly-button ring! 

Sunday, November 25, 2018

I Finished Two Novels!

Let's all cheer! I finished TWO NOVELS!

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Due to how much I was stressing myself out, back in June or July I made the decision to not publish again until next summer (roughly. I might do it sooner). In the meantime, my job was to just write the stories and have fun with them. I'd write them now, save them up, then put myself on an actual publishing schedule once the time came to start again. 

Well, I officially have 2 novels done!

The first I finished in August, and it was The A&E Experiment. It's just sitting happily on my mustache flash drive waiting to be the first one out of the gate when the time comes to get started again. I'm excited for that one because I had finished it at one point, but as I was trying to rework the beginning I was stupid and saved over the whole thing! 

I was miserable. Heartbroken. Absolutely destroyed that I'd done something so remarkably stupid. I spent two years afterward trying to rewrite it but I just couldn't. That was right around when my confidence in my work started to dip and I struggled for every word, when the first time I wrote it the whole thing flowed perfectly and I had a blast doing it. 

But I finished it! Now it's on my flashdrive waiting and I sent a copy of it to both my best friend and my husband. As I'm typing this I'm actually about to go get it and put another copy on my desktop because I'm NOT losing it again. 

The second one I actually finished before The A&E Experiment. This one is called Bad Blood and it's a vampire hunter mystery novel.   

Okay so that one kind of has a backstory too. 

So when I was a teenager I was obsessed with Laurell K. Hamilton and her Anita Blake series. I also loved James Patterson's Women's Murder Club series. I decided I wanted to write my own!

It. was. awful.

At the time though I thought it was fantastic. I was going to be the only sophomore in my class that would be a famous published writer!

That was my first mistake, though honestly I'm sure its one that gets made by any aspiring writer at some point. You never know until you try. I tried, and got rejected. Though there were a few agents who requested 50 pages (which usually happens after you send a query letter and a few sample pages. That means they liked what they read at first) but ultimately passed. I was heartbroken but decided I would do better. 

Of course, I don't blame any of them now. I remember some of what I wrote back then and it was pretty fucking awful. I had zero plot structure and everything was kind of all over the place. I would go off on side tangents that were, believe me, not to be mistaken for side plots. They were random bits and baubles I thought would make it more interesting but didn't. I only had a remedial knowledge of mystery at the time and had zero clue how to really write one. So I'm glad now that they said no. I would've made an ass of myself and I was incredibly delicate as a teenager. Moreso than now and I'm pretty delicate now! (lol) 

I tried that story again some years later when I was in college. I don't think I finished it. 

Now, a few years ago I tried it again. I had only barely dipped my toe into self-publishing at that point and was still thinking I wanted an actual, like, literary agent and publishers and all that old school stuff. But I wasn't thinking about that as I wrote it. I just sat down and the pages literally spilled out from my fingertips. I was so exhilarated! I wrote the whole thing in exactly 30 days and I was absolutely in love with it! I hadn't had so much fun in ages and it was my baby! Surely now an agent would want it! 

I polished the whole thing, cared for it tenderly, because this had been a labor of love since I was a teenager. A story that I've held dearly to my heart since I was a kid and that gave me the best month of my life to date (until I started working on the first draft of The A&E Experiment, which then matched up with that happiness perfectly). 

Tried to get it published by traditional means yet again. R-E-J-E-C-T-E-D. 

I know they say that yeah you're going to be rejected a lot in this business. That you should just get used to it and persevere. But that one really hurt. I feel like the people who say that were the ones who received feedback when they got rejected so they at least knew why. I never did for this. They were all just "no fuck you" form letters. No reason. No clues as to how to improve. Just. No.

Original video link here. I just really wanted it to show up as a video 
and blogger wouldn't show it to me on the search thing

Years later and I still don't understand why it was rejected. I loved it. I still love it! I've grown a lot as a writer since I wrote that and I still think it's one of my best works. 

That's why I like self-publishing. If I like the story, then it goes up. Other people can like it, other people can hate it. That's how it's going to be anyway so I might as well have full control over what I'm doing as an artist instead of waiting for someone else to decide if I'm worthy enough to be seen. 

I hope you like my books when they come out! I'm so excited to be able to put them up! 💙💙💙💙

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Relaxing Tonight

Tonight I've decided to try and take it easy. I'm on Thanksgiving break from work and I had planned to get a lot of work done writing wise but my days off are falling on that oh-so-special time of the month and it's impossible for me to focus. Focusing has been getting harder and harder for me lately and I don't know why, but today I know why.

Danny and I went to visit his parents two hours out of town for a belated Thanksgiving dinner. It was great getting to see his mom, dad, and sister again. His sister brought all of her kids and her husband and we all sat around just chatting. The meal his mom and sister made was delicious. They always bring it out for the holidays because it means so much more to them I think than it does to my family, and because of that I always enjoy visiting them. Plus, prior to Danny and I getting married and living together, I spent pretty much every weekend over at his parents' house (now mine and Danny's house!) so I like to think I'm pretty close with them.

Anyway, we came home and I had a huge influx of hormones. I ended up sitting on the floor crying for no reason trying to put my little Christmas tree up in my office, but then I took a couple of aspirin and now I feel a lot better.

I'd gotten a handwritten excerpt out of my work backpack so I could type it up and keep going, but good God am I tired. I'm exhausted and am struggling really hard to focus on what I'm doing. All I want to do is curl up and play a game or something. So that's my plan. After I post this I'm gonna boot up one of my favorite childhood games, La Pucelle Tactics, and just spend the night trying to relax and trying to recharge.

Image result for La Pucelle Tactics

I've got an outline template open on my computer so I can poke around with it whenever the mood strikes but for now I'm not going to worry about anything. I always get particularly stressed out around this time because how PMS affects my brain makes it so. fucking. hard for me to do much of anything productive and as a workaholic it's like torture to me to not be able to focus on my craft. But taking a step back and recharging is part of the process. There's nothing wrong with it. Sometimes it even helps.

Hell, I might even have Danny help me make a bed on the floor or get the bedroom TV fixed up or I could make a bed on the couch later and try to write then. Maybe laying down will help. I don't know. I just know right now I feel like absolute trash and need to just take a step back.

I might even go down to the basement later and see if his mom, who loved to sew, left behind some elastic, and if she did I might finish my lolita skirt I've been working on off and on for the last like six months (lol). She told me I could have whatever sewing stuff I wanted down there, which is great because there's so much lace! Perfect for a lolita!

Anyway, I'm going to go now and get a start on relaxing. Bye! 💖

Monday, November 19, 2018

Our Inner Voice

When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things.—Joe Namath

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You know Sue Heck from "The Middle"? You know how she has no real talent for much at all but she still keeps trying and, even when she fails she still gets right back up again. Sue Heck is elastic. No matter how many times she's knocked down she bounces back. 

My husband and I like watching that show. I've watched it longer than him but he's really gotten into it in the time we've been living together.  Now, in the past I've expressed to him that I'm "no good at writing. I suck. Why do I even try? What's the point? I'm just wasting my time" and like always he got angry with me and told me how that was a crock of shit (though he probably said it nicer than that. This conversation has replayed itself a hundred times in the past so I'm not really referencing any specific incident) and that I'm not wasting my time and he won't let me go around sabotaging myself like that.  And once, while we were watching "The Middle" he made a very good argument. 

(The following is incredibly paraphrased)

"Sue has no talent at all. She's clumsy and actually really stupid. But she has incredible perseverance. I swear, if you combine your talent with her tenacity there isn't anything you couldn't do." 

That thought has always stayed with me. I may not remember the exact time or place or event that brought it up but I'll always remember his point because he's right. 

I hate saying that I have talent. To me, it sounds incredibly vain. Who am I to say I have talent? Really, that's for others to tell me. I'll see it in my sales. In reviews. I can't know if I have talent for real unless an outside force tells me so. 

But isn't that just bullshit? 

I watched a vlog by Kelly Eden that talks about positive affirmations and learning to love yourself. I showed it to my husband because when I watched it at work I was nearly brought to tears because I connect so much with the things she and her roommate Phi were saying in the video.

Here is the video: 

I think that's one of the reasons I like watching Kelly's videos. I hugely admire her and her ability to deal with crippling depression and anxiety and self-doubt but still have a hugely beautiful life.

This is another video that I feel like applies to what we're talking about now, and has had a huge impact on me in the past. If I hadn't seen this video, I would still be so much worse than I am right now about my self-confidence.

It's bullshit that I feel like I can't tell myself I have talent. Or that I feel like the outside world has to be the one to tell me. Why is that? Why can't I say "you know what self? Your sales might not be where they need to be yet but that's fine. You're still doing great because you're enjoying what you do. You think it's a waste of time? So what if it is? What else are you doing? Why not waste time doing something that makes you feel so completely fulfilled and happy instead of wasting more time doing nothing and being sad and lamenting it?" 

These are thoughts I really need to drill into my head more, because it's stupid that I don't think this is the right way to think. So what if it's vain? Fine, I'll be vain. I deserve to be vain because it's regarding something that's been my whole life since I was like 7 or 8 years old. I need to be more loving and accepting of my talents. 

What's really fucked up is that I almost backspaced the word "talents" and tried something more humble, thinking "oh I don't know if that's a talent."

Fuck you inner voice, yes it is. 

I'm talented. I'm talented. I'm talented. 

If I can keep this in mind, I can build a beautiful life for myself and my husband and anyone else that might come along in my life. I can do incredible things if I remember that I'm worthy of it.

Okay, this has really taken an informal direction but I'm leaving it up because I'm beyond proud of this. 

I want you to promise that you'll be confident in yourself. That you'll see your positive qualities moer than your negative qualities because if I wasn't struggling so much with this I'm so confident that I would be much further along than I am. Self-doubt kept me back, and I don't want it to keep you back. Greet the day with a smile and wide arms because life is beautiful and so are you. 

If I don't end this now I'm gonna start bawling on my keyboard so I'm going to close with this: 

"Well-behaved women seldom make history" --- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Saturday, November 10, 2018

NaNoWriMo Diaries Day Ten

Hey guys, sorry I haven't posted in a few days. Things have been crazy around here since I decided to try something insane and write my NaNoWriMo project AS I'M ENTERING IT INTO A CONTEST ON INKSHARES.

The thing with this is that Inkshares Contests run off of pre-orders. The more pre-orders I get the higher up on the leaderboards I go, and if I reach #1 then Inkshares will publish my book. This specific contest is for horror novels, and I ended up switching my NaNoWriMo project away from the fantasy story it started as and am now working on a new novel. You can see why, then, I haven't had time to post on the blog. Between trying to get pre-orders and writing to make sure I don't lose my word-count. So, again, I'm sorry I didn't update for the last week or so. But I think you can forgive me considering everything I've been doing.

But I'm here now to update, and that's what I plan to do!

So let's get this started off with an update on my writing:

Project: A Taste of Darkness
Genre:  Horror
Deadline: November 30th for NaNo. Actual deadline I have no idea yet.
New words written: 970
Present total word count: 24,715

Things accomplished in real life: I'm sitting here with a cup of Celestial brand Raspberry Zinger tea in the "Drink Me" mug my sister-in-law made for me for Christmas last year.

Anyone out there reading this, it would mean a lot to me if you would go on over to my "A Taste of Darkness" page on Inkshares and pre-order my book to help me win the contest. Winners of the Inkshares Horror Contest have been shortlisted for a Bram Stoker Award (which to any horror literary fans out there, you know how huge that would be) and being at all associated with the Bram Stoker Award has been a lifelong dream of mine. Any help at all is insanely appreciated beyond anything you could imagine, so please go and support my work!

Things accomplished in fiction: A revelation is brought about by an unexpected source that leads the MC, Blaire, to researching the town.

Friday, November 2, 2018

NaNoWriMo Diaries: Day Two

Project: Maiden of Flowers
Genre:  Fantasy
Deadline: November 30th for NaNo. Actual deadline I have no idea yet.
New words written: 5,585
Present total word count: 8955

Things accomplished in real life: Not a whole lot, actually. We slept late. Later than we meant to. Salem was curled up under my head and he always makes it hard to get up and get the day started. We got Rib Crib for an early dinner and I pretty much spent the whole day writing. As you can see by the amount of new words written!

A lot of days will probably be like this, unfortunately for those who came here seeking excitement!

Daisy and Salem are starting to adjust to each other better. They're asleep sort-of together right now. Salem is asleep on our PS4 while Danny plays "Red Dead Redemption II" (because I think he likes how warm it is) and Daisy is asleep on the part of our corner couch that's behind us while we sit on the floor. The fact that they can both sleep together in the same room less than a yard away from each other is a good sign, right?

Things accomplished in fiction: The prologue came to its end, and the actual main characters of the story have been introduced. Princess Orchid survived the parade of suitors her brother, the king, put in front of her as a show for the court. He already knows which one he's going to pick, and she knows who he'll pick for her too. Orchid's cousin, Clara, came to visit. Orchid and Mina, her best friend and lady in waiting, have a plan to make Orchid feel better about being married out of her home country, and Clara is being dragged along!

I'm really excited about this story!

Thursday, November 1, 2018

NaNoWriMo Diaries: Day One

Project: Maiden of Flowers
Genre:  Fantasy
Deadline: November 30th for NaNo. Actual deadline I have no idea yet. 
New words written: 3370
Present total word count: 3370

Things accomplished in real life: Today is the first day of NaNoWriMo! I've been so excited for this I can't stand it. It's been so hard not to work on this project before then, but I was good and waited for NaNo to do it. I've been taking notes up until this point so I'm excited to see how it all gets put into action.

We got a dog on Halloween. My best friend's parents couldn't keep their dog, Daisy, so we took her. She's a beagle/lab mix and is five or six years old. All night she was whining to go back home but I think she's starting to calm down. She slept with Danny on the couch, and Salem cannot stand her!

It's funny, actually. We had him in the downstairs bathroom while we brought Daisy in and when we took him out he puffed up real big and growled deep, deep in his belly. He hissed at her, and I've never heard him hiss before! Granted, up until now he hasn't really had a reason. He's a very socialized cat but he's never seen a dog actually in his house before so he probably doesn't know what to think. Up until now he's only really seen them outside on the street.

I felt kind of bad because we just moved into a new house, and he was just starting to adjust to that change. Now along comes yet another huge thing that's turned his world upside down. Danny tells me that he'll be fine, that it would happen sooner or later because we had always planned to get a dog now that we're living in a bigger house. I'm gonna have Salem sleep with me tonight so he knows he's still loved and still the prince of the family. I read somewhere online that that's a great way to help a pet adjust to a new addition to the family and, being an only fur baby for almost a full year, I can definitely see how it would help.

We've also unpacked a lot in our new house. There's still a bunch left packed in the sitting room but we got my office set up, which I'm excited for. It's still got some stuff to do (like paint the walls blue) but apparently none of it is necessary to be able to work. Which is good because I was worried I would be creatively stumped without things being just so. The muse can be finicky at times and I don't want to give her any ammunition.

Things accomplished in fiction: We started the story with a prologue, describing the life of a cowardly guard in a small fantasy town. He got some . . . time with the girl he was in love with, so good for him!

Friday, October 26, 2018

Home Renovation Diaries -- The Problem with Old Houses

As some of you may know, my husband and I just moved into a new house. His brother and sister-in-law lived here right before us and had to vacate due to personal circumstances. Before them, his parents lived here. They moved out to a new town following his dad's new job, and after his brother and sister-in-law weren't able to live here anymore, his parents gave the house to us. There was a lot that needed to be fixed, updated, whathaveyou. But that was okay. We wanted to customize whatever home we moved into anyway (it's half the reason why we moved out of the apartment anyway) and what better way to start than from scratch?

Turns out, old houses have problems that we didn't foresee. Someone older with more experience might say that we should've seen all of this coming. But for a pair of twenty-seven-year-olds, this all came as a surprise.

First of all, there is no pipe in the upstairs bathroom sink.

I don't know if that really has anything to do with the house being old, or if his brother and sister-in-law tried to replace it and just gave up halfway through. That seems to be the case for a lot of the projects around the house that we have to fix. Don't even get me started on how their kids hung off one of the drawers in the kitchen and broke the front off completely, and their parents did nothing to fix it before they left. But either way, there's no pipe in the upstairs sink. Just a bucket. So that's got to be fixed. Buuuuut I think that's what the repair guy is going to do for us when he's finished taking care of the next problem.

And that problem issss -drumroll- NO HEAT!

The heater that was in the house when we moved was literally put in when the house was first built. In the 1970s. It was too dangerous to even think about turning on when we moved in. When the repair guy brought up the unit it was so covered in dust that I could definitely see why it couldn't be used. So, the heater has been getting replaced through our whole first week here.

And today, the heat goes out again.

Because the gas company shut off the gas.

For. No. Reason.

There's no way we're behind on our bills because we just started them. The most likely reason is that maybe the oh-so-reliable tenants before us didn't pay their bills and nobody used gas here for such a long time that the gas company was surprised to see someone using it and decided "oh no if you're not paying you're not using." Which is very likely since it's been fairly warm up until recently. Great.

Then there are the other things: painting rooms that are an ugly yellow color. Not all the rooms are yellow but they all definitely do need to be painted. We're going to start on my office this weekend and get it painted a nice blue and get my desk set up. Maybe get some shelving. Which is good because NaNoWriMo starts next week while we're taking a vacation from our jobs and I need to be in the optimal position to be able to get a good start. I'm terrified of not being able to write during such a big month for it.

Update on the heater: apparently my husband called them to get the gas turned on and they just decided not to do anything. Now we'll have to be frozen until monday. Great

Anyway, we also want to replace the outlets because they spark when you use them if what you plugged in doesn't just fall out of the sockets. We're going to renovate the basement into his office/game room (we've been calling it Nerdvana, because that's where Danny is going to host his roleplaying game nights and pretty soon do some streaming on youtube of the aforementioned games)/general media room. That stuff I'm not counting as a pain because we're choosing to do that and would do that even if we were moving into a brand new house.

I'm just sick of repair men already, and we've only been here a week.

OH! And there was no sup-pump.

His brother and sister-in-law had it taken out, presumably to replace it, and never did. So when we moved in that was on us too.

This post turned out a lot more whiney than I expected! But really this is just what it's like when you not only take on an old house, but you take it from an unreliable couple. I wouldn't change my mind for the world. Not yet, anyway. It's going to look great when we get a handle on these issues, and who doesn't want to be the only one of your friends who actually has a house? That's better than anything else!

I'm going to try and post about all the renovations we do in the house, which, as you can tell, is going to be quite a bit.

Sunday, October 7, 2018

Dragon Age and Rainy Sundays

Image result for kawaii animated gif raining

It's not exactly raining yet, but it's supposed to start any minute, and because Sunday has always been our day to do nothing at all I plan to spend it playing Dragon Age: Origins. I lit my (barely) vanilla candle, wrapped up in my Nightmare Before Christmas Jack Skellington snuggie and my heated blanket, and am just waiting for DA:O to install on my computer so I can play.
Image result for dragon age origins

The air is starting to get cold again. Yesterday I had to wear my black fleece tights when we went out instead of some lighter tights, not that I minded because I love my black fleece tights. They're so warm and comfy!

For the last two days, the sky has been gray and covered with clouds, which Danny and I both love. We're definitely dreary weather people. Our seasonal depression gets worse in the summer when its too hot and the sunny days seem to never end. In the winter, I still get depressed but it's so much easier to pull me out of it.

I'm also going to be thinking about my NaNoWriMo project. I told myself I would keep working on other stuff and then worry about NaNo when November starts, but I find myself unable to stop thinking about it. Every year I try to participate in NaNoWriMo even if I can't make the write-ins (they're always deeper in the city than I'm comfortable going, so I usually don't go) and even if I don't win. If I ever don't participate for any reason, November just doesn't feel quite right.

Just in case you're not aware, NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month, is an event in November when writers do one simple thing: You try to write a 50,000-word novel in 30 days. The website breaks each day down into reasonable 1,666-word increments that you can absolutely surpass if you want. 1,666 is just the minimum word-count for each day. The idea is to get people writing every day because, for some people, the only thing keeping them from writing is thinking that they don't have the time or for those who have trouble sticking to it.

Image result for nanowrimo

This year I'm going to work on a fantasy project I've been playing around with in my head for a while now. I chose that one because I'd like to actually, you know, do it and with NaNoWriMo you don't really have a chance to overthink anything because you need to get it done. Overthinking is my worse enemy so being put in a position where I don't have that luxury has always helped.

I never really do outlines, which a lot of people suggest for NaNoWriMo. Maybe that's a bad thing, maybe it's not, I don't know. I only work sort of okay with outlines. The method I'm best at, in my opinion, is writing by the seat of my pants. Working from a vague concept and discovering it along the way. Learning about the world alongside my characters.

George R. R. Martin described these two kinds of writers more beautifully than I think I could.

“I think there are two types of writers, the architects and the gardeners. The architects plan everything ahead of time, like an architect building a house. They know how many rooms are going to be in the house, what kind of roof they're going to have, where the wires are going to run, what kind of plumbing there's going to be. They have the whole thing designed and blueprinted out before they even nail the first board up. The gardeners dig a hole, drop in a seed and water it. They kind of know what seed it is, they know if planted a fantasy seed or mystery seed or whatever. But as the plant comes up and they water it, they don't know how many branches it's going to have, they find out as it grows. And I'm much more a gardener than an architect.”

And with that, I think I'm going to end this post. If anyone joins NaNoWriMo this year, let me know in the comments! I'll follow you on the website! My username is: littleflowerlei


Tuesday, September 4, 2018

💖 A Ramble 💖

The good life ❤
I'm so excited about everything. Moving day is coming up quicker and quicker. I've thought about how I want to do my new office and our house is going to be awesome

I also decided I'm going to allow myself a break from trying to be productive until after we move. My current office just isn't doing it for me anymore and I just can't make my brain work here. So I'm going to focus on reading, crafts, gaming, maybe do some outlines--and if I feel inspired, then cool I'll sit down to work. But any serious work will probably wait until I get my new office

Plus I mean I think I earned a break. Cause I DID just finish a piece this month lol.

Update Post!

So I have a lot to update you guys on that I haven't had time to do until now. August was a hard month for us here and I haven't had the time/energy/motivation to update the blog until today.

First update: We're moving! 

If you follow me on Instagram then you already know that Danny and Salem and I are moving into his parents' old house in October. We have to break our lease to do it and one of the issues we've had in August was to find the money to be able to do this, as we are not the kind of people who have $2,000 just laying around.

Luckily our friend Kathy, who inherited quite a lot of money from a late relative, offered to help us pay it. She said she would give us the full amount no problem. Of course, we insisted on paying her back, but we were incredibly grateful for that little piece of hope she gave us for this.

Any extra energy we've had between the other stuff that happened this month and our day jobs has been put into packing up the apartment. We're steadily being surrounded by mountains of boxes once again, and we have to pick up the pace because as of today we have only about a month to get everything done before move-in day, but we're planning on doing a huge packing marathon on Saturday. Really make a big push.

Second Update: I finished The A&E Experiment! 

Yes! It's true! I finished The A&E Experiment a couple of weeks back. It happened while I was in the midst of being sick, toothachy, and having a root canal to fix the toothache problem knock me on my ass, so the amount of celebrating was much smaller than I would've liked, but we went out to eat at Olive Garden to celebrate that and the moving so it's not as if it went unacknowledged!

When will it be released? I haven't decided yet.

Okay so I guess there wasn't that much to update you guys on, but what there is is big news!